Smart Home Installer Gifts

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"That's the problem with these 'smart' appliances. When one breaks down, they all experience sympathetic malfunction."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"You are still here."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."