Small Loan Seeker Pillows

Loan company has express lane for transactions of $900 or less.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'Wait a minute....!

loan

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

"We've got borrower's remorse."

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

And your repayment period starts...Now!

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"I need this grant to start my chicken farm."

'Excellent job on the Foreman account, Graham. There's just one thing... I don't see my name on it.'

"O.K. final question: I'm thinking of a number between one and 100."

'You want the 'loan officer.' Next door down.'

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

'What do you mean you've done more for me than my mother did?'

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

Loan trap

"You must be here for my seminar, 'The Cathedral of Profit'."