Small Biz Champion Gifts

"I'm worried. We're small enough to fail, but not big enough to be bailed out!"

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'

"Clean your specs, lady?"

"I now only take orders online. Shipping is free, especially since you're my neighbor."

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

National Head Quarters - Mom & Pop Stores Incorporated

'I've put the business up for sale.'

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

'We are from the F.B.L.'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

Burn It Down

"As part of our commitment to small business, we are willing to lend you your bus fare home."

"With expenses like ingredients, supplies, marketing, packaging, handling and payment processing, a cup of lemonade costs $50."

"I've reduced theft by 55%!"

"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Pop."

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

Small business nurturing employee health insurance.

"Typical! There's never anything in it for the little people."

We were curbside before it was cool. Lemonade.

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

Frank's Butcher Shop. Ernie's Bakery. Starbux Coffee. It hasn't been the same since the candlestick maker went out of business.

What can I get you? Keep it down, please. Coffee King. For the record, Coffee King is a giant, evil corporation. Your chain is a ubiquitous capitalist death star. You spread conformity, and ruthlessly crush small, independent cafes. But by golly do I love your peppermint hot chocolates! At that point, getting whipped cream on top seems guilt-free. I feel so dirty.

Any shohplifters with a social conscience avoids small businesses.

"Hockersmith & Associates. May we help you?"

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

Small dairy farmers have no future.

Small business administration - 'You're a little too small.'