Slow Reader Champion Pillows

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Mountaineering section

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

"You were right, honey, she was tired... I only had to read six books to her tonight!"

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

'One of their years equals around two of our months. That's why it takes them so long to learn anything.'

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

Man reading while being surrounded by TV's

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'Is your boyfriend working late?' 'No... He's a slow reader.'

'He processed the words all by himself!'

Parent about kid reading 'Improving Your Video Gaming': 'It's the only way I could get him to read.'

"If we're going to continue ignoring each other, we'll need a lot more reading material."

Wife: 'So how was your Speed-Reading class honey?!' a man who couldn't handle the pace of a Speed Reading class enters his flatapartment injuried with a trail of pages behind him on the ground

A man reading whilst running.

Library Returns

'Don't do the funny voices Dad. You make the giant sound gay.'

'I could have gone to college on an athletic scholarship, but they found out I could read.'

'We prefer not to target 'intelligent readers' since there is too great a chance that they'll know how to download the books for free.'

'Three weeks - and he hasn't finished the first paragraph!'

'How come it takes him so long to read that?'

"Boy is this guy a slow reader."

Dark Ages