Slow-paced Runner Pillows

George finally found some friends who could keep pace with his rigorous training.'

Snail Racing

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

Turtle crossing road: 'Phew! A couple time I saw my life crawl before my eyes.'

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Use it or lose it.

'Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get there in time for the net olympics.'

"Hang on -- I'm going to make the jump to 90 m.p.h."

'Snails do a good job of fertilizing the soil, but they're so slow about it.'

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

"Your wife wants to know why you're not home, yet."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

Slowsave.

I used to run every day. But lately its just been a rack for my clothes.

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"I've always worked from home."

'Are you a football fan?'

"Sorry Sir, but it is already on the slowest speed..."

'This getting fit is killing me.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Snail Warning

'I went jogging this morning - actually got as far as the front gate!'

"Back from your jog already? I thought you were going to go for the burn."

'On your mark...'

"The camper parking lot is just around the corner!"

"No, not this time. I'm on a glutton-free diet."