Slow Living Fan Pillows

Honey I'm Home

Local food for local consumption

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

St Bernard Toilet Holder

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

"I don't tell you how to gather."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

'I've invented food, and I've invented shelter -- two out of three isn't so bad!'

"My bottom went to sleep."

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

Snail Peephole

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Turtles and snails boarding Noah's Ark.

'Having a toy chest that folds out into a desk has really helped.'

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"Wait, I think I got a signal!"

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"Don't worry about John. He just went to a hypnotist to improve his game."

Animal Crackers. It says, "Expiration date: Cats - Oct., 2017. Dogs - April, 2019. Tortoises - Jan., 2070".

Fuel Carrier

"And did I mention it was a very quiet neighborhood?"

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!