Slow Line Survivor T-Shirts

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

"What makes you think you have cabin fever?"

There once was a person who planted a seed

Sneeze Police

"That's just great! The boat sank and it's hide tide. What else could go wrong?!"

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

The tube's a nightmare today

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

'This circular motion I'm making with my hand indicates the content is still loading.'

"I come with my own cubicle."

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

Heating costs.

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"

injured skier says medicinal brandy is bad

"What happened to you?"

Finally the government stepped in and issued a back-to-work order for everyone except Bob.