Slow Internet Sympathizer Prints

"Living with Michael is like living with a slow internet connection. I keep waiting for the content to load."

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

Honey I'm Home

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

'The download time is slow, let's go home.'

'Checkmate!'

'Could this broadband be any slower?'

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

"The Internet is down, so I got bored. They'll understand."

'If you consider the time spent with tech support, our school's high-speed internet access isn't that much faster than dial-up.'

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"Are you still waiting for that site to load?"

'This circular motion I'm making with my hand indicates the content is still loading.'

Broadband developments

"By switching supplier, our upload speed is much faster."

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

Library Returns

You ready? You betcha. J-Lo will have a love child with Alan Greenspan, then cure male-pattern baldness. From the files of: It could happen in 2021. Technical support will answer the phone.

Snail jumping through ring of fire.

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

'Three weeks - and he hasn't finished the first paragraph!'

"This is taking forever to download."

"We need an internet service that's faster than our bad news."

Weeeeeeeee - snail on turtle.

Turtle rings doorbell of another turtle.

"Our internet is really slow. George W. Bush winning the election is trending."