Slow Fitness Journeys Gifts

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

On the back of the t-shirt...

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Exercise now!

Exercise Bars

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Jogging...

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

"When I suggested you should walk a couple of miles a day I didn't mean to just see me!"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Guy in gym

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

Ring for Service.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'she's been at that three weeks now and it hasn't moved an inch.'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Keep goin', Harry. No pain, no gain!"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

How can we improve our health?