Slot Machine Enthusiast Pillows

"It happens."

Slot Machine Tree

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

Slot Machine: Please Go Home

"But I don't want to go yet, I'm winning...I'm ahead almost three dollars!"

Pay 'n' Park Jackpot

One armed bandit workout.

Kangaroo sweeps winnings into pouch.

Insert Coin

Bartender: 'Take it from me buddy,stay clear of that one.She's only interested in your money.'

The bank teller was sure she was dealing with the notorious slot-machine thief!

'A year ago my wife thought she'd found the perfect parking space--$80,000 in quarters later, she's still trying to leave.'

"You lose again...!"

"Do all your casinos have these?"

"Excuse me, is this a smoking area?"

Fruit machine...

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

Destination casinos...

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Tonto Casino.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!