Slop Stirrer T-Shirts

Good cop, bad slop, hard bop.

What the Doctor Ordered

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

"I make it myself!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

'Cooking'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Nouveau wine

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

Soup Surprise

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

Chick in noodle soup.

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

Setting fire to the US flag

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

"Something pickled this way comes!"

'Alphabet soup. This isn't nutrition. It's education.'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".