Slippery Slopes Maven T-Shirts

"That's the trouble with the nursery slopes, crowded with ski-ing nannies!"

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Ski lift mobile

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Nature Lovers

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Tour guide: 'And there's where we'll be setting up camp folks. Just at the base of that foothill.'

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

At the baby oil factory.

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

The Beckhams reveal their coordinated World Cup tattoo, hairstyle and outfits for 2010.

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident

Small Clams Court

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

In a shrewd business move, Hell enters the family amusement park industry.

Skiing

"You sure you've done this before."

"We tried like hell to get Streisand tickets, but we ended up renting 'Yentl.' "

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

Snail Homes

"It's programmed not to be formulaic."

"Oh look - a Bauhaus Bird Box."

'OBSOLETE: Any really expensive Heating & Air Conditioning system you bought last year.'