Slice Of Life Observer Pillows

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Life and Death

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

You trip on it, you buy it.

Down on Bourbon Street...

"I've been at loose ends lately."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

Mice 25¢

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Maternity Hospital

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

'Hey! Down in front!'

Will Kill For Food

"Your sister got another promotion."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

Sponge Blog

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."