Sleepyhead Humorist Pillows

'I told you not to yawn near the toaster.'

"I don't know why sawing logs refers to snoring...."

'Wine makes me sleepy.'

Wordplay: Scrambled Egg.

Atlas Sleeps on the Job.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake... Well, that would be pretty rotten thing to do, God, seeing as I'm only eight years old."

'You say you lost your last three jobs because of oversleeping?'

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

Alarmistclock

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"He's never up before eleven."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

'Because it'll put you to sleep. That's why I'm reading you the third quarter report.'

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

Sleepwalking to work.

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Early Night Club

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"I'm going."

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Actually, the Sandman's little brother, 'Boulder Boy' could get people asleep a whole lot quicker.

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

"You're just run down."

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

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"Are you ready for the working breakfast?"