Sleepyhead Humorist Pillows

'I told you not to yawn near the toaster.'

"I don't know why sawing logs refers to snoring...."

'Wine makes me sleepy.'

Wordplay: Scrambled Egg.

Atlas Sleeps on the Job.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake... Well, that would be pretty rotten thing to do, God, seeing as I'm only eight years old."

'You say you lost your last three jobs because of oversleeping?'

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

"Right...morning...now what?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

Alarmistclock

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

It's Not Easy Being Ant Boy!

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

"He's never up before eleven."

'Because it'll put you to sleep. That's why I'm reading you the third quarter report.'

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

Sleepwalking to work.

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

Early Night Club

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Actually, the Sandman's little brother, 'Boulder Boy' could get people asleep a whole lot quicker.

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.