Sleepyheads Pillows

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

Insomniacs Support Group - "Ron, how am I suppose to help you if you keep falling asleep?"

"You forgot to cancel the newspaper delivery for the winter!"

'If you're having trouble settling into a long winter's nap, try these 'hibernaton pills'!'

Actually, the Sandman's little brother, 'Boulder Boy' could get people asleep a whole lot quicker.

"The only thing this memory foam mattress has done is remember all my sleepless nights!"

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"...And I promise to make you a later appointment, next time."

'Yawns sure are contagious!'

'I hardly slept a wink last night because of those noisy buggers in the tent upstairs!'

Wine makes me sleepy!

'Why do you bother getting out of bed?'

'Promise me you'll see someone about your sleepwalking soon.' (OLD MAN WITH ZIMMER FRAME ON BED)

"Trying to decide if I should take a Halcion, Ambien or Lunesta is making me sleepy."

Man falls asleep as he eats his breakfast.

'You told me to come back if those sleeping pills didn't work.'

'For goodness sake, take a mint: You have Spring breath!'

'Insomnia, eh? -- Drink a glass of warm milk and watch some C-Span.'

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

'60,000 milligrams. . . 60,000? As a pharmacist, didn't you think that much Ambien might be a tad excessive for Mr.Van Winkle?'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Early Night Club

'Give him a moment. He's not a morning person.'

"I'm too tired to be annoying right now."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sheep Ledger

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'