Sleepy Speaker Pillows

The Bookworm

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Sheep Ledger

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"I'm having trouble sleeping through board meetings."

This coffee can keep you up

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

“I get that the sounds help you sleep, but I don’t like the way he stares.”

Teddy sweeping up zzz

REALLY boring sermons

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

"Nice try, but learning by osmosis is not a thing."

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

Man asleep on train

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

"Baldo, why is this music so loud?"

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

"I tried reading a book once ??" fell asleep and missed the ending."

Bluetooth was the future.

"He arose at five to catch the early-morning light, caught it, and crawled back in again."

'No wonder you're still tired -- you were campaigning in your sleep all night.'

"It's too late to worry anymore tonight, I'll get up early tomorrow."

"I set your ringtone to the sound of snoring. I want you to experience what I go through each night."

"Never mind self-identifying as a hibernating bear, get up NOW!"