Sleepless Souls Pillows

'I still have trouble sleeping. I thought when I died I could rest in peace.'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Who gets up when the babies cries at night? The whole street!'

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

This coffee can keep you up

Actually, the Sandman's little brother, 'Boulder Boy' could get people asleep a whole lot quicker.

Early Night Club

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Wide-awake.

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

'Let's follow this guy you said, he seems to know the way!'

"Your 2 am is here."

Mathematics.

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

'Insomnia, eh? -- Drink a glass of warm milk and watch some C-Span.'

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"It's 2 A.M. Do you know where your p***s is?"

'If you're having trouble settling into a long winter's nap, try these 'hibernaton pills'!'

Counting Sheep

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

"...And I promise to make you a later appointment, next time."

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

"It says, 'I'm hip, I'm radical, I'm out there. I fell asleep with gum in my mouth.'"

'For goodness sake, take a mint: You have Spring breath!'

'What time do we have to wake her up in the mornings?'

Grim Reaper Insomnia

'I hardly slept a wink last night because of those noisy buggers in the tent upstairs!'

'Does anyone feel like I do?'