Sleeping In Specialist Pillows

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

Do not disturb...

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"You were snoring."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"