Bob's new mattress was firm but fair.
Sleep Quality Critic Mugs
Kickstart mornings with a mug that nods to the sleep quality critic’s discerning taste. Perfect for their favorite coffee or tea, these mugs combine humor with a cozy vibe.
"I spend my day prepping for a good night"
"I think I need an extra pillow."
Wordplay: Hibernation.
Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.
"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."
A breakthrough in the morning meeting
Broken Alarm Clock.
'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'
'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'
'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'
"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."
Downside of a memory foam mattress.
"You were snoring."
"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."
"I like to come prepared for meetings."
Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.
Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!
"What's with your hair?"
"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."
'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'
'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'
The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.
In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.
Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.
"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."
'Was it the non-flying dream again?'
A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.
"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"
"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"
'She let the bedbugs bite.'
"Alexa give me one reason to get out of bed today."
'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'
'Gravity wins - again.'
"Another Monday and Albert couldn't get his ass out of bed."
Sleep Quality Critic Mugs Collection
Sleep Quality Critic Pillows
Find pillows that bring humor and comfort together—perfect for the sleep critic who appreciates a good laugh and better rest.
Sleep Quality Critic Prints
Browse striking prints that humorously honor those who keep the standards high for quality sleep and sweet dreams.
Sleep Quality Critic T-Shirts
Discover t-shirts crafted for the discerning sleep lover in your life, blending wit, comfort, and a sense of humor.