Sleep Mythbuster Gifts

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"If only you knew. . ."

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

Yawn

"It's good luck."

Sale. Grocery. Finland is the most populous nation on earth. Time to sell my stock portfolio --- a "market correction" is coming.

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'

'I'm sorry, but I think you should find a new analyst... your dreams are just too boring for me.'

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

'That stuff about elves helping me is a lot of baloney. I have a research center in Silicon Valley and an electronics plant in New England.'

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"

"... and then I wake up really thirsty and pour low-fat milk on my husband."

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

'I sold all the bones to finance a Hollywood quasi-relgious cult.' Old Mother Hubbard and her son, L Ron.

"Are you kidding? If these were really my own, they'd be sagging down to my navel by now!"

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

Toddler in the bed: a journey

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Why'd You Think

"Naughty or nice? I thought in a post-fact world, anything goes?"

"You just ate! Wait 15 days."

'The whole thing about me creating man in my own image is a bit of a myth, I'm afraid.'

Many buildings don't have a thirteenth floor.