Slacktivist Spotlight Pillows

"1 in 6 Americans is hispanic...but only a fraction of elected officials are latino!"

They hated me.

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

Manhattan Woods

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

The Sedentary Dead.

Media Whore Raceway.

Intermediate Slouching.

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"We might need that ball, boy!"

"What are we doing today?"

Why are you texting instead of working?

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

"I promise that this will be the last time that Daddy will ask you to help him post his resume online."

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Parker?

'Out to Hunch.'

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

'The Stalls, Covent Garden Opera'

Peace inactivist

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

"Have you seen Joey?"

"We better hope those damned air traffic controllers aren't on strike again!"

"Whenever they low, I get high."

"Before you enter the water complete a full reversal of your political opinions."

"I couldn't retire. I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

Instant Paparazzi Photographs

Child homeless sheltering under 'New society' newspaper

'On a sad note, 14 clowns perished when their vehicle...'

"Honestly, Baldo, sometimes you're languid to the point of lethargy. Wouldn't you say you're torpid."