Skywriter Squad T-Shirts

"Oh honey, what a romantic anniversary pres..."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Mensa Does Improv

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

"He's my school project for science class."

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Mayhem, Inc. Part 26

Actor practising his indian war crys

Hollywood producer.

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'Hang on a minute...'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"That movie was very familiar...a cute little girl who hangs out with monsters from a secret world."

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

"Great money scenes!"