Skyward Sarcasm Gifts

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

'I'd rather we don't mention this in the annual report.'

'At least we're still in first class.'

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

A man shoots at a drone.

"Student driver"

Les Bons Bourgeois - Looking in vain for the planet Leverrier

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

"I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss people."

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

Airport

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"I'm fine. It's just...I miss the confinement."

Graduation Day 2020

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Mile high skydivers

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"At this time the captain would like to hear from anyone who is turned on by men in uniform."

"Byeee... see you soon!"

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

'I guess we're flying by instruments.'

Bra falling from the sky.

'What the hell's going on down there!'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"Milan, Rio, Sydney, Oslo - I never know when he's going to jet off next."

The Post Office's new cheap 18th class mailing system for printed material.

Starting Service . . . Ending Service

Musician filling a hot air balloon.

In case you were wondering how the latest airline merger will affect the average traveler...

'Would you circle the airport again, please?'