Ski Slip Survivor Gifts

"I'm sorry! Your insurance doesn't cover skiing accidents. For that you need our 'foolish and stupid' insurance."

First aid in mountains

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

Balloon ski lift

'Deer ski-jumping across a road.'

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

T-Rex Ski Jump Fail

Skier gets caught in the thaw

Bigfoot on skis...

"I'll be a little late. I'm on a Citi Plow."

Skis and ski poles poking out of the snow.

"Ok, spring...we're REALLY ready for you..."

Must be the coming of the nuclear winter.

"Is it too late to buy a policy?2

'. . . Now take a left at the next pine tree.'

'$1500,00 for two weeks in Florida, and nobody's even noticed my tan!'

"How was the ski trip?"

Pyramid Ski Slope.

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

Poor kid can't move. Parka-plegic.

'Tough winter.'

"Dad did say he'd do anything to get out of going to Mom's parents this vacation."

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

"I can't take winter anymore!"

All season tires are great, as long as it doesn't snow.

Winter Surrender

"That's typical of you, Howard - you know I don't like semi-skimmed milk...!"

The last run of the day.

'Sore back?'

'All they took was my snowblower.'

'What a curse this global warming is...'

'Hey! I'm not too late, am I?'

'I'm a teetotaler.'