Skeptical Botanist Pillows

'Like I told you yesterday, I think this is a bunch of nonsense.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

Escaping Flowers

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"You should start taking probiotics now, before we discover that they don't make any difference."

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

Will Work for Manure

Clown Gardening

"They say statins don't work but they must be doing something, I've never felt so lousy in my life!"

'Thank you very much, but they don't want it inside. The deceased is allergic to flowers.'

"Dad got tired of reading those scare stories - now he sits there all day, photosynthesizes, and grows his own!"

"The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data'."

Pumping up a cactus

'We offer you a free computer, free internet, no ads on your screen and $10,000 cash if you can figure out the hook.'

'Just because I don't have a green thumb doesn't mean I'm not a great MD'

'If you pretend to water these fake flowers they'll last longer.'

"Thanks for taking care of my plant. You really don't need a 'green thumb', she isn't picky."

Members of the flat earth society would holiday...but never too far from home.