Size-positive Shopper Gifts

Clothing for Big Boned Women.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

Shop assistant falling in love with a customer

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

"Fake."

Ladies Lingerie.

Eulogy: I shopped Til I Dropped

"Do you have something that says, 'Quit stalking me'?"

'We don't call it 'plus size' anymore, we call it 'extra fun'.'

'Hey Bob, I'd like you to meet my-'

"How can we afford to eat at a place where the doggie bags are Gucci?"

'Because we're seniors and can do whatever we want!!'

'Don't bother using the cash machine on the High St. I've worn it out.'

Something for Everyone!

'If you're going shopping, collect some taxes on the way back.'

Ahh, excellent! I've finally found a tie that matches my eyes!

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Buying expensive, impractical shoes may help to relieve depression.

"We're all slimming from the manager down!"

'here comes that funny little woman and her big husband!'

Great idea! Now no one can see how expensive we are.

'I think I'm entitled to an exchange - I specifically asked dfor a medium and I've been given a large.' (Psyd's Psychic Supply Co.)

"That's what I'd give my sister-in-law if she could take care of nice things."

"Tomorrow! It's the Saint Stephen's Day shopping event of the year!"

'Everything's designed for supermodels. What about supper models?'

"The shoes also have an app that connects to your phone, watch and computer to keep track of all your superfluous purchases."

Big Fellow - Clothes for the bigger man.

"XXXl is the new XXL."

'You'll like this suit. The vest is edible.'