Size-positive Shopper Gifts

Clothing for Big Boned Women.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

Shop assistant falling in love with a customer

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

"Fake."

"Do you have something that says, 'Quit stalking me'?"

Eulogy: I shopped Til I Dropped

Ladies Lingerie.

'We don't call it 'plus size' anymore, we call it 'extra fun'.'

'Hey Bob, I'd like you to meet my-'

"If it's any consolation, spending all that money shopping made me feel a lot better."

'Because we're seniors and can do whatever we want!!'

"How can we afford to eat at a place where the doggie bags are Gucci?"

'Don't bother using the cash machine on the High St. I've worn it out.'

'If you're going shopping, collect some taxes on the way back.'

Buying expensive, impractical shoes may help to relieve depression.

Ahh, excellent! I've finally found a tie that matches my eyes!

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

"We're all slimming from the manager down!"

Great idea! Now no one can see how expensive we are.

'here comes that funny little woman and her big husband!'

Something for Everyone!

'I think I'm entitled to an exchange - I specifically asked dfor a medium and I've been given a large.' (Psyd's Psychic Supply Co.)

"The shoes also have an app that connects to your phone, watch and computer to keep track of all your superfluous purchases."

"XXXl is the new XXL."

Big Fellow - Clothes for the bigger man.

'You'll like this suit. The vest is edible.'

"Tomorrow! It's the Saint Stephen's Day shopping event of the year!"

"That's what I'd give my sister-in-law if she could take care of nice things."