Situational Comedy T-Shirts

"This is a very nice thing you’re doing."

Bob's losing streak continued.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

"Ed Lowry: Worst hunter ever"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

"Previously on..."

I don't care if you have a ticket - hop it.

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

"Oh George, I wish you'd get things in perspective. . .!"

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

"That's not what you told my screener you wanted to talk about."

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card could you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me, or take out a sexual harassment suit."

"Stick what up?"

Come hell, or highwater, Eric remains confident that his call will come.

"I can’t chase you today … he’s in one of his moods."

"You mind if I smoke?"

"If anyone's got a plan B, now would be a good time."

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

'Sorry, you're not suitable for the post of Assistant Beggar.'

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

'Are you sure you want the party sub? I mean are you sure? Are you buying it for someone else or something???'

"Why am I always the bad guy?"

Woman gossiping on emergency phone

"It's these new glasses dear! I thought it was you!"

"I haven't got time for a whole lot of paperwork. The wedding's tomorrow."

Escaping the Firing Squad.

'Poor Danny - every sheep shearing season he got in trouble!'

A man's head disappears into his torso, replaced by a sign that reads: Next Showing 1:00

Ledge Rescue Service

'Yes... Now I see - no pocket. So perhaps the glove is defective.'

'...But what do you REALLY want?...'

Fanning a man who's passed out with money.