Absurd Situational Comedy Lover T-Shirts

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Little help?"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

Eugene Ionesco

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

"Previously on..."

"This is a very nice thing you’re doing."

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

"Another impulse purchase?"

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

'Well son, it seems a bit of a fuss for an overdue library book.'

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

'Okay - which one was here first?'

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

Come hell, or highwater, Eric remains confident that his call will come.

"Stick what up?"

"If it's still following me around at noon, you'll bet I'll eat it."

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

"You mind if I smoke?"

"If anyone's got a plan B, now would be a good time."

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

'What do you mean you don't rent helicopters?' (Santa shot all his reindeer)

101 uses of a dead cat: shoe scraper

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"