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Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Little help?"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Eugene Ionesco

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Previously on..."

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

"This is a very nice thing you’re doing."

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

"Another impulse purchase?"

'Well son, it seems a bit of a fuss for an overdue library book.'

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

Come hell, or highwater, Eric remains confident that his call will come.

"If it's still following me around at noon, you'll bet I'll eat it."

'Okay - which one was here first?'

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

"Stick what up?"

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

"You mind if I smoke?"

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

"If anyone's got a plan B, now would be a good time."

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

'What do you mean you don't rent helicopters?' (Santa shot all his reindeer)

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

101 uses of a dead cat: shoe scraper

"What seems to be the problem?"

'Who's idea was it to run backwards to Christmas for charity?'