Situation Sergeant T-Shirts

'Friend of foe?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

"Lemming Boot Camp"

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"It's early days but the new variant does seem a lot less aggressive!"

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Panic Button

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"Is something funny, soldier?"

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

"Was it you dad's idea to play 'taps' at our wedding?"

Home Economics with an Attitude...

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."

"I can't heeear you!"

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

"Listen up! When I yell 'hop' you say 'how high?!'"

Puss in Bootcamp

"Introspe-e-ec-shun!"

Extreme camouflage