Sitcom Survivor Prints

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Desert Island BBQ

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"The trees are laughing at us."

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Situation Tragedy.

Beam me up. Scotty!

John Cleese.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Menopause and the City

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

John Laurie

Larry David

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can build a computer out of a coconut, then you can build a cell tower. Take some initiative!"

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

"Of course Daddy could explain what a superconducting supercollider is, sweetie, but just at the moment Daddy is watching 'America's Most Wanted.'"

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"He goes through the TV listings deleting all the 'trash' I like."

"Yet it's magically okay when Mrs. Maisel & Susie talk like that."

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Norman Fell

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'