Sitcom Buff Pillows

"Hey man, the pilots are sick. Do you think you can fly this?" "No problemo, Bart dude." "Otto Pilot"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Backfire

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Bloody hell!"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Applause

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Can't Touch This

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"Beware of the frog"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

Cat Hecklers

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'Now that's Real TV!'