
'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'
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'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'
Speed dating
Life is for the birds.
"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."
Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.
"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."
"Did you get my tweet?"
A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.
Still searching for my Prince Charming.
A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.
"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."
"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."
Ultimately love would find her...
"That's exactly what I keep telling myself!"
'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'
"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."
When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.
"Now give me something intimate to say."
"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"
Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,
"I had half a date last weekend."
"Do you know what girls want?"
Napoleon marches off alone
'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'
After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.
'Are you seeing anybody?'
Danger Quicksand
"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."
'She saw right through me.'
"I just feel like we're not connecting."
I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."
'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'
"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."
Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.
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