Singer-songwriter T-Shirts

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

JimmyFest 2006

'This next song is about burning bridges, and how now, I wish I hadn't.'

"This next song is about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

Paolo Conte.

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'I don't think he sucks so much as his influences suck.'

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"Next song's called Dirt-poor Boxcar Man which I wrote partly in the VIP lounge at JFK in my private limo on the way here tonight."

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

"I wrote a song, but it's not finished. You wanna hear it?"

"Woke up this mornin', Found myself trapped in the Blues genre..."

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

Steven Tyler

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Keyboard player

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

Roy, orbiting.

"Hi - we're called pillowcase and we're a cover band!"

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Livin' just enough, just enough - for th' city...

"Actually, it's more of a rap."

". . . and here's one I wrote about my wife complaining about my playing and singing while she's trying to get to sleep."

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

"Woke up this morning - got those ice-floe-shrinking bipolar blues."

"I've got the English blues…still, mustn't grumble."

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

"The times – They have a changed."

"Here's another song about the merch table t-shirt you'll regret not buying."

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

"The next song tells of the heartbreak of romance. The disappointments, the disagreements, the bickering. This is too difficult for me. I'm not going to sing it."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"This next piece is an intimate number I'd like to share with you one-on-one."