Singer-songwriter T-Shirts

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

JimmyFest 2006

'This next song is about burning bridges, and how now, I wish I hadn't.'

John Lennon and Barry White in heaven arguing over who is the Walrus.

'Oliver's a very sensitive singer-songwriter.'

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"Next song's called Dirt-poor Boxcar Man which I wrote partly in the VIP lounge at JFK in my private limo on the way here tonight."

'I don't think he sucks so much as his influences suck.'

"This next song is about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Paolo Conte.

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"This next one's for you, babe."

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"This party at Phil Collins' place tonight... is it smart or casual?"

"Actually, it's more of a rap."

Livin' just enough, just enough - for th' city...

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Hi - we're called pillowcase and we're a cover band!"

Paddy Macaroon.

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

Paul Weller

Roy Orbison

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

"Is she actually getting better?"

"I wrote a song, but it's not finished. You wanna hear it?"

"Woke up this mornin', Found myself trapped in the Blues genre..."

Amanda Seyfried

Robbie Williams

Rihanna

Miley Cyrus

Ice Cube

Bruno Mars

Adele

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)