Sing-along Jokers Pillows

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Musical Accidents

'Yes, doctor, I sang to her constantly as a baby. Her first words were ‘Gimme Ipod'.'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'You like that? Okay, ONE MORE TIME! The wheels on the bus go round and round!...'

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

Looking for a cool cat.

"Whoah, triple denim!"

"You'll have to chuck it back- it's Kylie Minnow."

'It was a gift from AARP.'

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

"I'm afraid it's bad news...You have a Tuba!"

Dog with recurring nightmare.

'Cattle Driver.'

Lightning Bug Bullies

"I'm really glad that we're in this together."

Trilby - 'The Chairman'.

Hey! I just figured out what I want to do with my life!

'60,000 milligrams. . . 60,000? As a pharmacist, didn't you think that much Ambien might be a tad excessive for Mr.Van Winkle?'

Jolly for Jones.

"Shed as much as possible. That way your owners will never be able to give you away."

Let's carpool karaoke!

"I think I know where Blitzen went."