Sin Theorist T-Shirts

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

Special Place in Hell...

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

A pivotal scene from 'Faust: The Road Movie.'

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

'That's one hell of a lawyer.'

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

Strand of DNA as a tightrope

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'Yes, we;re a value-orientated investment fund.'

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

Infernal Revenue Service

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

To the Barricades

"We must assure the public that our fiscal review will not result in increased property taxes."

Satan's desk boxes say mortal and venial.

'He decided he'd rather represent gluttony.'

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

SLOTH...still at lunch

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

"When you lie about yourself, is it to appear closer to or farther away from the middle of the bell curve?"

'Impressive! You've accumulated the sins of a man three times your age.'

"Where do you see yourself five Covid subvariants from now?"