Simplistic Cooking Mugs

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

LAY ZEE FUK

Soup of the month.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Baloneystini

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"My compliments to the can opener."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

'What kind of...'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

"Why are they called freshers when they only eat processed food?"

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

'Hoopla!'

Cooks

Clandestine Cuisine

'I warned you...I can only cook two dishes: beef stroganoff and cheese cake.'

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'

'I never understood kitchen tables. Why do you think I gave you a lap?'

Homemade Jam.