Simplicity Skeptic T-Shirts

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

The World's Easiest Airport

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

Alternative Medicine

Not much money, glory, or praise

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'Occam's famed tool of parsimony.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'Does any of your bread just have bread in it?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"After six weeks of camping out here to observe our operations, the design firm has created a new logo. It's our company's name in blue lower-case letters."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

-