Silent Celebrator Pillows

'He made a Hole in One, and a thousand dollar bet he could keep quiet about it.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Congratulations!

Two men toasting

Festivus poles

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

Black Velvet.

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'

"For trick or treating, I'm dressing up as Billy Graham and going witnessing door-to-door."

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

"Will you be our surrogate?"

It turns out nobody has anything to say.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

Christmas party for the home worker

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

Wedding Days.

"How do you respond to those critics who say you're no talk, and all action?"

'To a vinculo matrimonii.'

'I'd like to return this book. All the pages are blank.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'-nobody has any manners nowadays,do they!'

Two grooms dancing.

Easter Bunny with a Stick and a Carrot.

'You have the right to remain silent.'

'While my friends all smuggle up with their husbands and children, I receive thanks for another doomed relationship.'

Christmas with Christo

Christmas on your own

Graduation day at Home School.

'We have ways of making you talk'.