Silent Celebrator Gifts

'He made a Hole in One, and a thousand dollar bet he could keep quiet about it.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Congratulations!

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

Festivus poles

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

Two men toasting

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

Black Velvet.

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

"For trick or treating, I'm dressing up as Billy Graham and going witnessing door-to-door."

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

"Will you be our surrogate?"

It turns out nobody has anything to say.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

Wedding Days.

Christmas party for the home worker

"How do you respond to those critics who say you're no talk, and all action?"

Easter Bunny with a Stick and a Carrot.

'-nobody has any manners nowadays,do they!'

Two grooms dancing.

'I'd like to return this book. All the pages are blank.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'To a vinculo matrimonii.'

'While my friends all smuggle up with their husbands and children, I receive thanks for another doomed relationship.'

'You have the right to remain silent.'

Christmas with Christo

Graduation day at Home School.

Christmas on your own