Signing A Mortgage Pillows

'You're overdrawn.'

'Don't you hate it when, two hours after you sign for the mortgage, your complimentary ball-point pen breaks?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Meet the Author

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

Don't forget to read the small print.

3:00 pm - Meet the author

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

A man sits behind a table in a book store with a sign that reads "Take the author to lunch 1 P.M."

I have a dream.

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'Third sentence, second one over...what does that word mean?'

'Interesting - although the plot lacked depth perception.'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

Meet the Oar-thor.

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'