Sign Language Teacher Gifts

"He asked if we had someone on staff who knew sign language and when I said 'yes'....he fainted!"

A Puppet Named Juan

Campaign for Plain English

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

Clubbing

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

'If all your friends were looting and pillaging, would you do it, too?'

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"I want to learn how to talk the talk."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."