Side Show Lover Prints

'See the man eating fish.'

Trial by Media

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Spoiler alert."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'I'm a star!'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

Oscars

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

Magic Accident

Magician creates magic square

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"C-Span is our reality television."