Siblings With A Baby On The Way Pillows

'Still five months to go....what a time to discover I suffer from claustrophobia.'

Cry babies.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Technology is for babies!"

Moms gone wild

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"Looks like I have a choice... I wait for contractions or I bungee jump!!"

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

Batman's first Bat Mobile

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

The Ultrasound.

Baby restaurant

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

Birth Canal Border Checkpoint

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."