Expectant Sibling Pillows

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

Cry babies.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

"Looks like I have a choice... I wait for contractions or I bungee jump!!"

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

The Ultrasound.

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Baby Advertising for Milk.

Please take a number...