Siblings Who Enjoy Animals Gifts

"I did it!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Collies Without Borders

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Christmas Pets

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Dog wearing a cone

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Pet Entertainers

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Cat king.

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'So... Who's chasing who?'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...