Sibling With A Child Gifts

"Just wait 'til I've read this book."

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'They're dog roses!'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Pet Entertainers

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Better luck next time, kid."

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

Snowman

The Charge of the Kids

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

When Dogs Rule