Shrine Seeker Pillows

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

"My Tia Carmen keeps this shrine..."

"Good game."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Turn, turn and turn.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

My God, I need to fart.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Crowded Ice Fishing

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!