Showbiz Seasoning T-Shirts

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Just a little seasoning...

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Toenail clipping missile.

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

Boarway Show

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Magic Accident

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

There's been a misundertanding-we're advertising for GAGSTERS!'

Morgan Freeman

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

'I'm just not keen.'

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

"Is this a sex thing?"

'Can you do anything else?'

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

A woman bows to the crowd

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'