Shopping Aficionado T-Shirts

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

Woman in Harrods with Rolls Royce Shopping Trolley.

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

Overpriced Sale!!!

"You're wearing a lab coat under false pretenses."

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

'Whenever I'm down in the dumps I buy myself a new pair of shoes.'

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

'Before you say anything, I've saved more than you earn in a month!'

"Perhaps Madam would be interested in our Vanessa Feltz range?..."

High security Santa's grotto

"I know, I know, I really despise this wine - but the name is so easy to remember."

Dog shopping in a pet shop.

'You wouldn't catch ME stooping to bottom shelf brands!'

'Oh, stop moaning- I warned you when we first met that I came with baggage.'

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

'If you want to see your allowance, I had better not see your belly button.'

Eve choosing a fig leaf.

'Now we'll get YOU that new Easter necktie.'

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

"What's this, an 'A' in mall attendance?!"

The joy of browsing.

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"I'm after a pair of shoes..."

Add to Basket?

Gloomingdales: Black the New Black

"How wonderful - I've been looking for an artisan shopping basket for ages."

"I couldn't decide what to get you so I got myself a new hat."

"I'd like to buy a book-mark."

Online store

"Bargain hunters!"

Mall specialization: Vanilla ice cream: 'OK, chocolate is left at the next corner, up the escalator to the third floor...'

"Your idea of bringing the two of us closer together always seems to be for me to go with you to Bloomingdale's."

"Gotta run, Sid! The cashmere everybody's been talking about is now twenty percent off!"

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."