Shopfitter Mugs

"Shopfitter? Oh, I thought it was an ad for a shoplifter."

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Everything's gone up."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Stationery Shop

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"I'd say business was brisk."

SupermarketAwful Market.

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Uh-oh.'

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'But what do you sell?'

Down on Her.

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

Marketing - Learn from customers' buying patterns...

Fashion Mistake.